The Pop-up Top

1 L Flasche Evian MineralwasserImage via Wikipedia
Evian water bottles with the old-fashioned screw-on top
Where has the recent trend for pop-up tops in water bottle lids arisen from? Who likes them? I can’t stand the pop-up top and don’t see any benefits it might have against the old-fashioned screw-on lids.

I hate the way pop-out tops release their water so slowly into your mouth – if you’re thirsty you want a drink of water, not a suckle of mother’s milk from a modern artificial teat! The worst culprit I’ve come across so far was an olive-oil style drizzler from an Evian brand water bottle. This puritan Comptroller-General of water rationing took the “everything in moderation” motto so far as to only grudgingly release drops of its precious contents onto your tongue. The slow drip of water falling onto my tongue when drinking from this bottle reminded me of the punishment Hades conferred on Tantalus in Greek mythology – there I was with a gushing 600mL of water so close and yet as I tried to drink it receded into a mere dribble.
Of course there’s a really simple solution to my problem: just un-screw the pop-up top as if it were a normal top. But although useless as a means of delivering refreshment, these pop-up tops are nevertheless superior at coming open inside your bag and slowly but surely fertilising all paper products and any dormant mould spores with a healthy spring shower. Which if left overnight will leave your bag with the delightful verdant smell of new life.

 But all this begs the question: what purpose do pop-up tops truly serve? I fear the answer has something to do with marketing different water products to different consumers in such a way as to get the maximum out of those willing to pay more without losing those customers who aren’t. Because some people will pay more for something they don’t need if it differentiates itself as somehow better “quality” whilst others can’t afford to.

TantalusImage via Wikipedia
Tantalus - tantalisingly close to fruit and water
From this frivolous complaint I could make a serious environmental point on a wasteful society – pointless production and pointless consumption all in the name of marketing. But then that would lead us onto the question of why we’re bottling water and transporting it to different locations around the world in the first place.
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5 comments:

JJ said...

Wow! What a topic. You could not have picked a better pet peeve. I don't want to cuss in a blog, but I hope the readers of this post can imagine how I feel about this sore subject.

I apologize for watering down my comments. I don't want to stray from the main point, but symbolically, the iguana will come into our awareness when we need a reminder to just simply BE. They'll ask us to quit fussing. Just be still and bask in the magnificent order of our world (the sun rises and sets, the air we breathe is always there for us, the earth keeps a lovely orbit, the seasons all march to a beautiful, orderly beat in time).
So why must we be subjected to the GD Pop-up Top?!!!!

Akseli Koskela said...

I get what you're saying JJ. Why the frenetic marketing and selling and producing of so much junk in the world that distracts us from the things that are really beautiful.

Juniper said...

I presume the pop-up top is for those who need to use it one-handed... but then I'm not sure about the necessity to have the squirting feature. I have to say that when sailing a water bottle which I don't to worry about losing the lid while I'm trying to drink and steer at the same time is pretty useful!

Chibi Janine said...

old post I know but the pop up top is great for independent minded toddlers who have not quite mastered the art of drinking from a open bottle and I don't need to carry a supply of straws in my bag.

Akseli Koskela said...

Haha! So there is a purpose for the pop-up top after all. Although I still find they tend to release about as much water as an olive oil drizzler.